-LRB- CNN -RRB- -- Devastation is devastation , whether a hurricane rips up your home or a tornado takes the person you love most in the world . It 's loss , shock and confusion . It 's anger and sadness and resentment . It 's being flustered like you 've never been flustered before .

But it 's going to be OK : Take it from the people who survived Hurricane Katrina and the Missourians from Joplin whose town was leveled by the worst tornado in U.S. history .

They want Sandy survivors to know a few things :

You 're probably on autopilot right now . You 're moving through it . Stand in the ruins of the life you had before the disaster . Understand that was before . The after is when you 're good and ready .

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Hours will still go by though . Days will happen . You might not remember to eat because you 're filling out paperwork and talking to insurance operators . You will get put on hold .

Your life will feel forever on hold .

At some point , when you think you 're handling it , you will stumble on something that reminds you of that old life , maybe it 's a thing or it 's a memory . Maybe this will happen when you finally get the sleep you 've gone without since the disaster . You 're going to feel really , really awful again for awhile .

Victims fall to Mother Nature 's wrath

Make yourself anew

Eileen Romero still feels the weight on her chest . It has just gotten a little lighter in the years since Katrina . As a nurse , she saw heinous things in the hospital where she worked . Eight years on , it 's hard to speak in full sentences without crying .

She watched the wall-to-wall television coverage of Hurricane Sandy , transfixed by the nurses who manually pumped air into newborns after carrying the infants down nine fights of stairs at NYU Langone Medical Center .

`` I was right back in that hospital in New Orleans , '' Romero said . `` I know those people . I felt that . ''

There are always burdens and rewards of being a caregiver . But in an emergencies , they are tenfold .

`` They need to know it 's going to be hard , '' Romero continued . `` I mean , they saved those babies and they should feel good . But later it might hit them what they were able to get through just because they were trained to do that . And I would tell them , ` It 's alright to be upset and to take time out to understand what you 've been through . ' ''

It was comforting to Romero to watch the coverage of Sandy . While she was in the middle of Katrina , she did n't consider that it was the world 's focus for days .

`` I did n't even realize that we were being covered 24 hours a day , '' she said . `` It was only months later that I comprehended that New Orleans was on TV all the time , that people cared so much about it . ''

Then again , there 's another side to massive media coverage . People might feel obligated to talk about their pain if a reporter asks .

If you do n't have the words , you do n't have to conjure up something for anyone . No one else has the right to your story . Tell it when and how you want .

Romero became a photographer after Katrina because words kept failing her . When she tried to talk about it , her words were inadequate .

`` Understand that the life you had before something like this is n't coming back , and that 's not always a bad thing , '' she said . `` Discover and make yourself anew . ''

Interactive : Remembering the victims

Look for what 's funny

Every day , Romero takes her Yorkies out for a walk . It 's a simple , effortless routine that has nothing to do with bad things in the world . Find something like that , or keep doing that one , pure , sweet thing that you always did , she said .

You 're going to need lightness . Your sense of humor will be tested . Use it a lot .

You might have to move into a place that you 'd never imagined you 'd ever have to live , like a trailer or someone 's garage . This could last for months , maybe a whole year . Your kids , spouse , in-laws and maybe some strangers will all be crammed in there . They might snore .

There are going to be fights and moments where you swear your head is gon na pop .

Writer Michael Tisserand and his wife , Tami , took damage to their home in Katrina . They and their two kids -- now 11 and 14 -- moved in with a friend .

`` We were laughing about sleeping in these two twin beds that were squished together , '' Tisserand recalled . `` We were getting food stamps for food banks for the first time . When you 're learning about how it feels to be suddenly dependent on others , you have to look for what 's funny . ''

Ask for help , give help

Do n't be afraid to give or receive help , he said . Do n't sit inside .

Try not to compare your pain or loss to someone else 's . You do n't have to swim through your living room to say you 've been through hell .

Tisserand remembers being stunned and then weeping uncontrollably when he received a package from a friend .

It was a new laptop .

`` You will feel helpless . I just felt like I was not the agency of my life then , '' he said . `` It was so unbelievable to me that someone did that for me . ''

When anyone gives you anything , small or large , cheap or expensive , know that they are trying to be there for you .

The Tisserands are at home in New Orleans , a city they never want to leave . For many disaster survivors , the tragedy redefines their definition of home .

How to help

Take pictures of everything

Kelly Maddy grew up in Joplin , Missouri . The 29-year-old and his wife thought it would be fun to go out and chase a tornado that was set to hit in April 2011 . Tornadoes got little more than a shrug in Missouri , so this was n't really the craziest decision .

It 's like choosing to stay at home when there 's a Category 1 hurricane forecast for your area . You 've gotten through nor'easter s before , so what 's the harm ?

When the Maddys finally made it back to their house , it was kindling . Their cars were gone .

`` The night was a blur , '' he said . `` You just stare and wonder what happened to my life ? Then the panic . ''

`` Document everything , '' Maddy said . `` Every single insurance person you talk to -- and you 'll be bounced around from person to person -- write their name down , write down everything they say . Use your iPhone . Take pictures of everything . ''

Know what supplies you have and how much you 're going to need . Get that stuff soon . Do n't put it off , he said .

There 's going to be a level of bureaucracy worse than you ever imagined . Insurance workers will be kind , of course , because it 's not personal . It 's just the system .

Call them constantly . Do n't expect them to call you , he said .

The Maddys lived in a basement apartment with their animals until finally rebuilding their house in February .

`` Going through all of that almost broke us , '' he said . `` Almost . 'Cause we 're still here . ''

Live blog : Get the latest news on the aftermath of Sandy

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People who survived Katrina and the Joplin tornado share their experiences , wisdom

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Their advice : Stand in the ruins of your old life ; it 's fine to be sad

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Ask for help and give help , no matter how large or small , they say

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They say it will get better , but it will always stay with you